Opposites attract – so runs a claim that accords with magnetism. At other times we say that opposites cancel each other out. Is it possible to decide which claim is the true one, which the truer?
Fortunately, not every dispute has to be settled, not every question has to be answered. A question left open is not uncertainty but an invitation to future inquiry, and to the final answer. Besides, a fool can ask more questions than a sage is able to answer. Therefore essential questions must be asked, essential answers formulated and essential conclusions distilled.
Conversation has a few golden rules. Do not speak when you ought to keep silent, and do not keep silent when you ought to speak. Only a foolish man does that. To converse – let us leave aside the fetishised word ‘communicate’, whose importance is often overrated – does not mean that you do the talking, but that you pay attention, that you are compassionate, that you grow sensitive. What a good talk we had! – you say, and do not even notice that your companion never got a word in. You heard only your own voice, and that is what gives you such joy? Yet you should not merely become a smooth conversationalist, that is, an empty chatterer, but ought to reach the exchange of ideas, first in concept, then in practice. An exchange of ideas, however, requires ideas.
An exchange of ideas is inquiry, and the summit of inquiry is the search for truth. Inquiry, therefore, has its own laws as well. The first is that there must be open communication. Let the exchange of ideas be guided not by expectations and fears, ignorance and doubt, cavilling and clever talk, but by the search for truth. Second, it must be declared that there are no taboo subjects. Although man is touchy about three subjects – his finances, his sex life and his religious convictions – these too can be spoken of, once prudery is set aside. The real taboo is man's weakness – this we do not like to talk about, and only the truly great and strong are able to show their weaknesses. If there is humility enough in you, boldly topple the taboos…
Third, the point must be reached where anything can be talked about. These rights belong to everyone – but only if he takes on the obligations that go with them. In return for three entitlements, three obligations. First, the subject and the participants must be paid the respect they are due. Disrespect is not merely a problem of manners but a flaw of character. Above a certain level there is no place for unworthy conduct.
Second, cavilling is to be avoided: asking questions merely for the sake of asking. A question must not merely give birth to the next question, but must keep the seeking, the inquiry, alive and stand as midwife when the answer comes into the world.
Third, one must prove willing to accept the answer. We may call this a cooperative spirit, or even humility. Otherwise, why do you ask, if you are not curious about the answer? I will go further: seeking is not compulsory, but ask a sage only if you are willing to heed his answer.
Well then, attraction or repulsion? Opposites or likenesses? Every statement is a word cried out into the world, which in time will call forth a reaction. The energy sent out draws like forces to itself: good draws good, bad draws bad. A bad thought that springs from you can draw to itself all the evil in the world, and that may even return to you. And every influence the world has on you is an action that calls forth a reaction from you. So it is not the question, or action, that matters, but the answer, or reaction. If you have inner peace, every answer you give will be fitting. It is as if the intellectual duel came to an end – there is no winner, but there need not always be one. The Sufi saying runs: Strife teaches peace.