Cistercians are building their church. Five of them set about raising the basilica high on the mountain. Not a soul in sight, no help in sight, but there is faith, there is fervour, there is a goal that will spur them on for centuries. Stone upon stone, then the beams, the portal and the vault – everything takes its place. And yet the church is built not of stone but of conviction. Then, centuries later, when faith has worn thin and most have lost their enthusiasm, once again: not a soul in sight, no help in sight. For all that the ownership is now secure, the land around lies deserted.
It is a struggle to make my way up to the building: a chance trickle of water, perhaps a vein of the holy spring, washes leaves down the path I am clambering up. The little footpath winds up from the edge of the village, a steep stretch, a rest, the blazing sun warms my back, a bead of sweat runs all the way down… everything is idyllic. No human nearness disturbs the reverence, but the nearness of God is palpable. A few more steps, and there stands the vast building – austere lines, geometric proportions, the rhythm of divine harmony and cosmic order shaped in stone. I lift my face to the sky as I search the top of the tower, then peer through the keyhole of the gate into the dim interior. The gate is locked. But some stray sound filters out, a strain of church song, or only its echo? Fragments, no longer even audible, of sacred chants sung hundreds of years ago? Or is it only the air whistling in the keyhole? And yet in my thoughts the singing rings in my ears, as though it were joining the play of the four mystical sounds, the secret harmony of the divine flute, the little bells, the holy names and the hymns of praise.
With an effort I tear myself away from listening to the secret sounds. Beside the building, ruins: strips of stone trace the ground plan of a larger building that once stood here. This must have been the monastery, for where the church is, there the monastery is – this was the church of a monastic order. Today only grass springs up where the cook once trod, or where the fevered brothers lay in the infirmary, or where at dawn they set out through the cloister to Mass… Mown grass all around, and wild nature has been pushed back a little, in among the trees, back into the deep forest, beyond the saddle of the mountain. The setting does not hide but rather displays the splendid building, and it looks down from the mountain with a steadfastness carved in stone, down towards the valley, the village, the world.
The sun washes all round the building, soaks its roof, laps at its sides, bathes its stones in its bright flood. Setting off to the left, I walk round the building, for this is the blessed direction, the way the Sun travels. Above, the Sunlight, below, the Sun-way. This is the path of light. All is beautiful, all is meaningful, but as I come round, I meet a jarring sight. On the right side of the façade, a gate, a walled-up gate. What a contrast! An impassable gate, an entrance that shuts you out, and should you once get in, there is no way back, you are trapped in the space of holiness, there is no way out… But I am outside, and although the great gate of the church is locked and there is no getting in that way either, there at least the hope remains that one day the gate will open wide and, spreading its wings, will not only invite the faithful but let them in. But here, at the walled-up gate? What chance can we possibly speak of? Only the sign remains: once this was a gate, a passage, an entrance – but walled up, it has lost its meaning. As a gate it is certainly no gate, and as a wall it is not truly a wall. What did the mason, or the monk, feel as he laid the stones one upon another and bound them together with mortar? ‘I carry out my task, this is service’ – or did the impossibly strange nature of his work cross his mind? How much better to cut a door in a wall than to wall up a passage?!
I go and stand before the impassable wall, my outstretched hands touching the gateposts, my chest pressed against the stones. As if I were breathing in the incense-cool air of the church within. Perhaps the stones inspire it, and thus my thought speaks: Let me be a passage, an open gate for whoever wishes to pass through me deeper into the realm of holiness…