As a rule, man lives either in lack or in excess, be it of money, knowledge, feelings or any other of life's resources. When we say: I've had enough! that is hardly a symptom of contentment. In an age growing emotionally barren, we may speak of a touch deficit as readily as of a panic-surplus. One sensitive field in which lack and excess show themselves is self-confidence. Two dangers threaten man, the one a lack of self-confidence, the other overconfidence – each worse than the other. When, wringing your hands, you keep insisting I am strong, I am strong, who will believe you? And when you speak of humility with your chest puffed out, people only smile at you. What lies hidden behind the one feeling and the other? Behind overconfidence there is probably anxiety, a sense of smallness, the desire to justify oneself. And behind a lack of self-confidence lurk traumas, failures, dread. Man may know full well with his reason that neither underrating nor overrating himself is healthy, and yet we fall into this error again and again.
According to a piece of Eastern wisdom, one should neither praise nor criticise anyone, though an exception may be made to the first rule. On occasion one may praise, but not criticise. Finding fault or criticising is not a very lofty pursuit, as we all know, and yet we drift into this role. But when we are praised, we are given wings, for moral recognition is a greater spur than material reward. What, then, can be the basis of this wisdom? It truly holds in a setting where every participant knows the high moral standards, shares this scale of values and, taking on his duties, acts with full awareness. For one who is conscious of his duties, the spur is not the positive or negative feedback of others, but the results of the great experiment with Truth.
What happens if no one pays attention to you? You easily let yourself go, for a while perhaps you look for feedback, and then, when you grow tired of it, you shut yourself away and easily grow estranged from company. As a result of this mental seclusion, this decline, you may easily become a nut sealed tight, its shell all but uncrackable. And what happens if everyone pays attention to you? If suddenly everyone begins to anticipate your every wish, takes your words for revelation and starts to deify you? It is easy to grow used to this, and you all but bathe in the attention and love of others. At times, admittedly, it is a burden that your private life all but ceases and you must always be available, though this is still made up for by the spur you draw from the attention of those around you. But the moment you tip past the safe limit, this attention sweeps you away. You can easily become two-faced, begin to live a false, double life, or simply be crushed by popularity. Outwardly you are bound to show that life is good, while within the void grows ever greater, and yes, alongside the excess, lack appears. The fêted star easily becomes a shooting star, and by tomorrow is forgotten. Handle quick and cheap attention with great care! Do not believe them when they brand you worthless, but be far more wary when they suddenly fête you. When fate truly wishes to put someone to the test, it gives him power or popularity. These do not change a man, they only show what he is really like.
Lack is more painful, excess more dangerous. Both are states of imbalance, and it is worth sobering up from both. From a lack of self-confidence one can emerge slowly, step by step, valuing even small achievements, with humility. From overconfidence it is harder to sober up. The passing of success is more painful than the passing of failure. The wise compare success and glitter to mule's urine, so worthless do they hold them. If you think too much of yourself, that is egoism, and if too little, that too is egoism, with a negative sign. For success in life healthy self-esteem is needed, but excessive egoism is not. The philosophy of enough accepts just as much as is needed, not too much, not too little. You go furthest along the middle path.