Enter­ing into mar­riage is an import­ant moment in life. In our youth most of us vow that, whatever bad examples we have seen, we will avoid them at all costs. Then come the ordin­ary days, and either we walk, as if com­pelled, into the very same traps, or we admit that it is impossible to live a life entirely without fault.

Does it make no dif­fer­ence what found­a­tions a mar­riage begins on, wheth­er in the spir­it of mere lik­ing, mater­i­al interest or mutu­al love, or per­haps of a high­er call­ing? Exot­ic cere­mon­ies have come into fash­ion: a Renais­sance wed­ding, a joy­ful ‘I do’ spoken in the bas­ket of a hot-air bal­loon, or even rites con­duc­ted accord­ing to the cus­toms of other cul­tures.

An Indi­an wed­ding is an exceed­ingly long and spec­tac­u­lar cere­mony. Even the rite prop­er has a dozen known stages, but per­haps the most sol­emn of them is the ritu­al of the seven steps.

Here the groom leads the bride ever fur­ther inwards through seven con­cent­ric circles, marked out on the ground with scattered rice flour, until they reach the centre. These seven circles are the seven levels of the path of wis­dom. Always step­ping for­ward with his right foot and mov­ing towards the north-east, the groom leads his betrothed, and in each circle he speaks a pray­er, asks for a bless­ing, and comes to an accord with his part­ner.

  • Step 1: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to strength! – Strength means an abund­ance of health, wealth and food. One of the wife’s call­ings is to nour­ish the fam­ily, and in this she has the full help of her hus­band-to-be. Nour­ish­ment and the fel­low­ship of the table are a nat­ur­al need and a sac­red bond. This abund­ance they place in the ser­vice of their fore­bears and their off­spring.
  • Step 2: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to power! – The young man looks for sup­port in devel­op­ing his strength and his manly vir­tues, and his bride assures him of her patience and sup­port: her hus­band’s joy will be her joy, and his sor­row her sor­row too.
  • Step 3: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to the keep­ing of your vows! – The young man counts on his part­ner’s sup­port in achiev­ing fur­ther suc­cess, so that they may live in great­er prosper­ity and suf­fer no want. His wife assures him of her fidel­ity, and so they will live devoted to each other and faith­ful to their fam­il­ies and their tra­di­tions.
  • Step 4: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to hap­pi­ness! – The young man speaks of their shared hap­pi­ness, whose pledge is their love, respect and trust for each other, and the maid­en vows: only for you do I make myself beau­ti­ful… Hap­pi­ness is made not only of the joys of life but also of know­ledge and har­mony.
  • Step 5: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to abund­ant live­stock! – In the tra­di­tion­al view of the world, live­stock is true wealth; the cow means abund­ance, and the horse free­dom. The young man calls on his inten­ded to care for these anim­als, and she vows to serve them with ador­a­tion. So the increase of wealth becomes a cos­mic, con­sec­rated act, and in present-day terms it means gain­ing prosper­ity and com­fort by vir­tu­ous means.
  • Step 6: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to the mul­tiply­ing of your spir­itu­al treas­ures! – It is a call to increase intel­lec­tu­al and spir­itu­al powers, for the earli­er vows mostly con­cerned the three primary aims of life – vir­tue, prosper­ity and hap­pi­ness – where­as this one is dir­ec­ted at mat­ters of spir­it and soul. The wife’s answer­ing vow: Where you make sac­ri­fice, there I too make sac­ri­fice!
  • Step 7: May the Lord Vish­nu lead you to the keep­ing of these seven vows! – The young man praises his bride’s fidel­ity and vir­tue, and thanks to his part­ner’s hap­pi­ness they may live a long and happy life, and the bless­ing of strong and vir­tu­ous chil­dren will des­cend upon their fam­ily, for off­spring are the true abund­ance.

Finally the groom, or rather the young hus­band he has now become, addresses his wife: ‘Be my life’s com­pan­ion, stead­fast in these seven vows, and let me too be your com­pan­ion for all your life, as mean­ing is to the word. You are the thought, I the sound. May the night be sweet to us, even as the morn­ing, the earth and the Sun! As firm as the vault of heav­en and the earth, the moun­tains and the uni­verse, so may our bond endure for ever.’